The Menu Every Restaurant Gets Wrong

Dear Restaurant Owners,

I want to bring your attention to an issue surrounding the terminology you use on your menu’s. In order to fully get my point across, I ask you to imagine the following scenario.

It’s a crisp fall day, you step into your local corner store, and take off your scarf. As you do this you are met with a warm breeze that carries with it the scent of fresh dough, savory sauce, and melty cheese. You take a full breath in and let out a contented sigh. Calzones. Your favorite Friday lunch. As you go to order your midday essential, you notice the menu’s have changed. As you go to the Build Your Own Calzone section of the menu you see that you get to pick your choice of toppings… that’s right, “toppings”. Your corner store serenity vanishes as quickly as it came — how can they call the deliciousness of the ingredients that make-up the magicalness of your calzone “toppings”?! Toppings, go on top. The entire point of a calzone is for the goodness to be wrapped up INSIDE, the precious dough. You toss your scarf back on and walk out into a world that seems a little more “meh” than before.

So, menu makers of the world, I hope that situation brought you to see the reality and severity of the situation at hand. Please, in all future menu endeavors refer to ingredient choices for calzones as insides.

My best,

A Concerned Citizen